87: Navigating ADHD & Parenting | Guest – Yakini Pierce

In episode 550 of ADHD reWired, Eric Tivers sits down with Dr. Shannan Palma to explore Decide—a suite of AI-powered decision-support tools built by and for neurodivergent brains. Throughout this conversation, you’ll hear about: How Decide leverages AI (Gemini and large language models) to help with everyday choices and multi-step tasks. The story behind IT Assistive Technologies and the Autistic Self-Reliance Support Network. Real-world examples of “decision fatigue” and how Decide’s guided and randomized features ease choice paralysis. The balance between AI assistance and human insight—and why a trusting, well-prompted tool can feel like a personal neurodivergent life coach. Pricing, privacy, and the community-focused mission: 85 percent of ITI’s profits fund disability-led initiatives. Bonus segments on Pride Month, coaching groups, virtual coworking, and how to get involved with ADHD reWired’s summer programs. Use these show notes to get a quick overview, find useful links, and discover why Decide might become your new go-to when you’re stuck choosing dinner, figuring out a daily routine, or simply need a gentle “nudge” to move forward. Episode Summary Dr. Shannan Palma—co-founder of Decide and co-director of the Autistic Self-Reliance Support Network—joins Eric to unpack how tools designed by autistic and ADHD adults can transform decision making for all of us. Shannan shares her own late autism and ADHD diagnoses, the challenges she faced finding resources after getting “the piece of paper,” and how a 48-hour hackathon sparked a project that won first prize and secured nearly $400 k in grant funding. From door-dash dilemmas to life-altering choices (like whether to adopt a foster dog), Decide offers two core modes: Randomized Choice Generator Users create custom lists (e.g., favorite restaurants, daily routines) and assign energy costs. The app selects an option based on your current energy level—no more breakfast indecision or “what to watch next” paralysis. Guided Decision Assistance A series of friendly, “affirmative” prompts mirror a real-time coach. By reflecting back your own criteria (energy, resources, priorities), Decide delivers a percentage-confidence recommendation and rationale—so you can make a defensible, informed choice without overthinking. Along the way, Shannan emphasizes the importance of privacy (your data always belongs to you), ethical AI (focusing on “do no harm”), and how Decide’s freemium model avoids the “ADHD tax” by offering 10 free guided decisions per month. Premium access is available for $4.99/month, but you can cancel at any time without losing progress. Key Takeaways Why “Decision Fatigue” Matters: Neurodivergent brains often struggle with countless small choices (e.g., “What’s for dinner?”). Decide’s randomized generator isn’t just for fun—it reduces executive-function load by factoring in your energy level and pre-ranked options. Guided Mode = Personalized Neurodivergent Coaching: Instead of writing complex prompts for ChatGPT or Claude, Decide asks you targeted yes/no/unsure questions. Once you answer, it gives a clear recommendation (with a confidence score) plus a brief “why,” so you trust your decision-making process. Built by Autistic + ADHD Makers: After Shannan’s late autism diagnosis, she realized few supports existed for lower-visibility autistic adults. A 48-hour hackathon (Give Back Hack Columbus) brought together autistic and ADHD engineers, designers, and researchers—leading to Decide’s prototype and subsequent $400 k grant from Ohio’s Department of Developmental Disabilities. Community-First Funding Model: 85 percent of any IT Assistive Technologies’ profits flow back to the Autistic Self-Reliance Support Network (ASR). ASR focuses on autonomy and resources for autistic adults—rather than caregiver research—aiming to expand capacity and economic inclusion across the lifespan. Privacy & Data Rights: Decide won’t train AI on your personal data, and you retain full ownership of anything you input. Future plans include an opt-in research repository for autistic/ADHD lifespan data—governed by community safeguards. Bonus: Pride Month & ADHD ReWired Community Updates: Neurodivergent Pride Panel: Friday, June 13th at 10 AM PT / 1 PM ET (free registration at ). Summer Coaching Groups kick off July 24th—save $200 by joining the registration kickoff on June 18th (more info at ). Adult Study Hall: Virtual coworking with monthly “Pomodoro Dance Parties” (4th Friday, Pride-themed on June 27th). Try a 1-week free trial at . Next Live Q&A: Tuesday, June 10th at 10:30 AM PT / 1:30 PM ET (become a Patron at for behind-the-scenes coaching calls). Resources & Links Decide AI Decision Assistant • Web: • App Store (iOS) & Google Play (Android) • Guided decisions: 10 free/month; Premium: $4.99/month (cancel anytime) Dr. Shannan Palma & IT Assistive Technologies • IT Assistive Technologies (for-profit): • Autistic Self-Reliance Support Network (non-profit): • LinkedIn: (mention you heard the podcast!) Neurodivergent Pride & June Events • Neurodivergent Pride Panel (June 13): • Adult Study Hall Pomodoro Dance Party (June 27): ADHD ReWired Coaching & Community • Summer Coaching Groups (start July 24): • Live Q&A (June 10): RSVP details sent to interest list • Patreon: Books & References • Annie Duke, Thinking in Bets (on decision quality vs. outcome quality) • “Selling Out the Spectrum” by Ryan E. Conviction (autistic journalist on research ethics)

⚠️ Coming soon to your favorite podcast player: The ADHD Creatives Podcast with Coach Kristin Marts, LCSW!  Check out more at 🎉  Who is Kristin Marts? The host of The ADHD Creatives Podcast, Kristin Marts, is a multi-talented individual who works as a licensed social work therapist and ADHD coach. She discusses how ADHD affects creativity, drawing from her experience in the arts world. Kristin also shares her journey from being a dancer to becoming a therapist and her passion for working with children and adults with ADHD. She introduces her podcast, which will feature conversations, guests, and entertainment such as parody songs. Kristin invites listeners to join her on Fridays for new episodes. Want more from Kristin?  Check out these links: ADHD reWired Episode 514 | Introducing: The ADHD Creatives Podcast with Kristin Marts!  ADHD reWired’s Coaching & Accountability Groups: About Kristin

Join the ADHD reWired Team every second Tuesday of the month for the monthly Live Q&A, and be sure to listen all the way through to hear a very special guest join us on this episode!  Questions & Topics in this Episode: How do I keep my time-blindness from derailing my teaching of a 90-minute class that has a very tightly-structured curriculum?  What are some of the signs that a job is not the right fit and that it might be time to move on? Do you have any input or tips on how to make strategies that are not working anymore – because of the pandemic – work again?  What are some strategies or tools I can use for accountability?  How can I keep doing the routines that keep my ADHD under control when I am traveling or in a different environment?  My kids want me to play Roblox with them. Do you have a favorite game we can play together? If you’re a kid with ADHD, what if the parent also has ADHD? Any advice for a kid living with an ADHD parent?  I am 41 and recently diagnosed and my spouse is neurotypical. What are some ways we can work on communication so that we don’t end up in unnecessary conflict?  Any tips for improving memory, particularly recall, when being put on the spot?  Resources & Honorable Mentions: App:    Book:   Book:   Book:   Tool: (the rolling alarm clock!) Tool:   Tool:   Article:   Article: (on written by !) Episode: with Check out the Other Podcasts on the ADHD reWired Podcast Network: with Brendan Mahan with Will Curb with MJ Siemens Don’t Forget These, Too: — Support the show by becoming a Patron! — Get your name on the waitlist to join the fall season of ADHD reWired’s Coaching and Accountability Groups — Join your ADHD-friendly co-working space! — Join ADHD reWired’s Live Q&A with the reWired team every 2nd Tuesday of the month at 12:30pm Central (10:30am Pacific / 1:30pm Eastern)

In this episode, Eric is joined by Vanessa Gorelkin! Vanessa is an east-coast transplant to Arizona where she lives with her son and husband (who both have ADHD)!  She graduated with a B.A. from Brandeis University and has a masters degree in Occupational Therapy from New York University.  Vanessa is also a Licensed Occupational Therapist in Arizona, and her career spans nearly 30 years!  She has served in both clinical and executive leadership roles, works with people all over the world, and is passionate about bringing out the best in all the people she works with! Learn more about Vanessa by visiting her website at vanessagorelkin.com & find her on Instagram at @humanist_therapist  In today’s show, you’ll hear about mindfulness-based cognitive therapy, dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT), and acceptance and commitment based therapy (ACT).  Then, you’ll hear about deep breathing, using spicy food or sour candies to help regulate, setting boundaries, practicing self-compassion and resilience.  Finally, you’ll listen to ways to work on activation, sensory processing issues and the nervous system, sensory accommodations, and the importance of breaking down activities into smaller steps.   Questions/Topics:  [00:02:18] Introducing Vanessa [00:04:00] The importance of emotional self-regulation  [00:04:51] What is an Occupational Therapist (OT)?  [00:06:19] How does an OT help people with ADHD around emotional regulation skills?  [00:07:30] What is acceptance and commitment based therapy (ACT)? What about radical acceptance?  [00:08:23] What is dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT)?  [00:09:50] Living with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) [00:10:52] A discussion on rejection sensitivity, BPD, ADHD, and trauma  [00:17:28] Eric asks Vanessa about the common “chief complaints” she experiences in her practice  [00:18:48] What are some examples of the skills Vanessa helps clients work with, and how does she help them do that?  [00:20:34] What do I do when my brain gets “hijacked?” and TIPP skills [00:24:59] Vanessa talks about sour and spicy for regulation  [00:27:14] Proactive skills vs. responding in-the-moment  [00:31:18] The intersectionality between anger, boundaries, and boundary violations [00:32:26] ** You need to hear this.  [00:33:03] External pressures, checking your calendar, and your right to say “no”  [00:35:15] Saying “no” when it feels bad, and therapy vs. coaching  [00:37:26] What is the OT approach for activation? [00:43:18] Sensory processing issues being missed with ADHD  [00:45:24] Does sensory processing get worse with age?  [00:49:34] Closing Thoughts  Resources & Honorable Mentions: “People sometimes get really hung up on a diagnosis… What my attitude about a diagnosis is:  It helps us understand what tools we can use, but it does not define you as a human being.” – Vanessa  “Masquerading as ‘normal’ is exhausting.” – Eric  🌟 Have you heard about our Adult Study Hall Community? Go to adultstudyhall.com to join our ADHD-friendly body-doubling community! 🌟 Interested in group coaching and want to take your ADHD management to the next level? Go to coachingrewired.com to get all the up-to-date information on the upcoming season of ADHD reWired’s award-winning Coaching & Accountability groups!

In this episode, Eric is joined by ADHD reWired Coaching Group Alumni, Gail Polivy. She was a coaching group member in spring of 2020 and became a peer mentor for the groups for the 2022 spring season.  Gail self-identifies as an “old-gay-guard” and was thrilled to join Eric on the podcast during Pride month.   Gail shares her experiences when she came out in 1977, her difficulties in college and learning about lesbianism, and finding a community where she felt at home.  You’ll also here Eric and Gail discuss how she’s seen the evolution of the LGBTQ+ community throughout the years, how her ADHD affected past relationships, mirroring, the power of self-acceptance, and the positive changes she’s made in her life since joining Check out the Other Podcasts on the ADHD reWired Podcast Network: with Brendan Mahan with Will Curb with MJ Siemens

Join the ADHD reWired Team every second Tuesday of the month for our monthly Live Q&A!   In this episode, you’ll hear from the ADHD reWired podcast team and ADHD reWired coaches talk about coaching, how to set yourself up for success when engaging with a coaching program, and what can help people grow.   Then, you’ll hear the panelists talk about why making friends feels difficult as adults, ways to make connections in different areas, the false narratives we tell ourselves about planning, the importance of scheduling fun things in your calendar, and that it’s ok to not get everything done.   You’ll also hear the panel share tips on building motivation, the barriers to getting started, and how activating a task can help with motivation. The panelists also discuss the benefit of reframing, defining our principles when creating rules for ourselves, and why understanding our values can help us make better decisions.  Finally, you’ll hear some tips on creating a more conducive remote work environment, the importance of communicating with your household when working from home, why a lack of structure can cause us to struggle, and that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to coaching.  Some of the Questions & Topics in this Episode: What makes one coaching program different from another?  What does it take for coaching to succeed, and how does one have to approach it to ensure or increase chances of success?  What scenario would make coaching not successful?  How does coaching interact with traditional therapy?  Are there grants available to cover potential business expenses when building a business channel?  There doesn’t seem to be any grants listed specifically for ADHD.  Do you have any tips or advice on finding more adult acquaintances after graduating university?  I know scheduling helps, but when I make a daily plan, I feel the structure is too restrictive, and I rarely stick to it.  Any tips?  What can I do to have motivation?  How do I give myself consequences for not following through on the things that I want to do?  How do I create a conducive remote work environment? I live in a small home and need space from my family.  I have recently retired from a CEO position and am now having trouble navigating the day-to-day.  I assume that’s not uncommon?  I was recently diagnosed and I have been struggling with deadlines and multitasking my whole life.  Can you talk about how coaching works and what benefits people get from it?  I’m figuring out how my brain works.  Resources & Honorable Mentions: Website: Check out the Other Podcasts on the ADHD reWired Podcast Network: with Brendan Mahan with Will Curb with MJ Siemens